


Arguments

by Myworldoffanfanfiction



Series: Ageplay [4]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Abuse, Cribs, Fighting, Hallucinations, Little!Rami, M/M, Neglect, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifiers, Please Do Not Send Hate, Please do not send to the boys, Screaming, Swearing, This One Is Dark, Toys, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Fighting, bottles, dont like don’t read, go read it please lmao, head the warnings, internalised self-hatred, nsap, playpens, please do not send to the real people, please read the tags, shouting, storage closet, this is from the little!rami book, tw, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myworldoffanfanfiction/pseuds/Myworldoffanfanfiction
Summary: Rami sat on the soft carpet, surrounded by the toys he dared to touch, and went over his swears. Brian has told him that the words he heard back in the old house were bad ones, but Rami already knew he was a bad boy, so his comment only sparred the boy on.Or ‘arguments over heard’ put into one story in itself
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Gwilym Lee/Rami Malek/Joe Mazzello, Brian May & Rami Malek, Gwilym Lee/Rami Malek, Rami Malek & Adam Lambert, Rami Malek & Allen Leech, Rami Malek & Everyone, Rami Malek & Lucy Boynton, Rami Malek/Ben Hardy, Rami Malek/Joe Mazzello, Roger Taylor & Rami Malek
Series: Ageplay [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1086231
Comments: 12
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you have read ‘arguments overs heard’ over on little!Rami u will know what this story intales. If u are knew, please read the tags and the warnings. I do not want people to read this and get triggered, so please read the tags. 
> 
> ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ 
> 
> Mentions of abuse, verbal abuse, hearing parental guidances arguing, dysfunctional family dynamics, internalised self-hatred, internalised self-doubt, hallucinations. If I have missed anything u would like me to put a warning for, please tell me.

Oh fucking shut up Ben! Joe, you can calm down too. You don’t have to fucking shout all the time like its my fault!” 

“When the fuck did I EVER say it was your fault Gwil? When the fuck did I said that?!” 

“Okay you can both shut the hell up, I’m getting a fucking headache!” 

“Ben shut the fuck up!!”   
A sob, a small silent sob Rami let out, his knees brought up to his chest as he listened to his daddies argue. 3 weeks a row it has been with the constant ‘fuck you this’ and ‘fuck you that’. The movie was getting hectic, the director being fired because he was a child-toucher (little rami didn’t understand, but the little one know the older version was furious about it, so little rami decided that yes, the ‘director’ was a beast.) and the movie getting crazy, meant the boys had a hard time. Rami was a lot younger in headspace now, and the adults were getting at each other like each other were their preys, not boyfriends. It killed Rami inside to hear his perfect little family be crushed just by one person.. or one movie. Little Rami didn’t understand, he just knew the movie was insanely hard at the moment to film, Ben was angrier than Roger could ever get, Joe distances himself so much he might as well have gone to Bali like John had that one time, and Gwil..   
Gwilym told Rami not to call him daddy one time, saying it was gross and that he shouldn’t say it. He said he was a grown man and he shouldn’t need the baby stuff. He instantly regretted it, but Ben’s screaming at him for saying such ‘bullshit’ and Joe chasing after Rami who practically fled into the bathroom like a terrified bunny rabbit, stopped him from apologising. He had forgotten to after Ben and his argument. 

So, Rami held back a sob as he heard a crash of a plate hit the floor, and Gwilyms threat for Ben to “get the fuck out of my house.” Then, Bens heavy footsteps came pounding past him. He was given no recognition. 

Rami didn’t know if he wasn’t seen or Ben just didn’t fucking care anymore. 

-^*^- 

The next day, or the same day of the argument as it happened around 1-2 am, was a day off. Ben was back in the house, thankfully, Rami thought. Rami had been put onto the sofa apparently, as him falling asleep on the floor, crouched next to the doorway of the kitchen, leaning on the wall, was his last memory of the night. He was upset he wasn’t in his crib, but glad whoever put him on the sofa actually decided to do the action and it leave him. He had had to do that a lot this week: sleep on the floor, that was. It would be just before bedtime. Bedtime now meant Joe silently changing him for the first time that day, at 9 o’clock, then helping back him slightly getting into his jammies, then passing him a blanket then ‘fucking off’ (as the adults had talked to calling when one of the others left you or someone else alone) and letting Rami get into bed himself. He couldn’t, it was embarrassing but he couldn’t. He was 5’9, yes, but his figure was delicate (he liked that word the bestest) and it was trouble climbing crib bars that high. With no help or stool or anyone to encourage him, so the bathtub it was some nights, or the carpeted living room. One time, Rami had been left in his playpen, because he passed out during an argument the adults were having (again, in the kitchen.) 

But I’m getting off topic.   
Rami was happy he wasn’t on the floor or bathtub, and so he sat up slightly, rubbing his eyes. The house was silent, which was good. Meant nobody was awake. Rami could sneak some food now. He wouldn’t dare do it when the adults were awake, knowing Gwilym would see him and laugh sounded torture. He shivered at the thought, and rushed into the kitchen to snap a packet of chips from the cupboard, rushing back and going straight into the bathroom. He had a pacifier in the lowest cupboard from when he first fell asleep in the tub and grabbed that, putting it into his mouth. He would eat a bit later, for now he would hand out in the bathroom until someone needed him or the room . 

-^*^-

Someone needed him. Ben did. He was calling for him, and he voice didn’t sound nice. He knew he had to come out, other wise this could go a lot worse that it probably was going to. Rami slowly opened the door, leaning on the handle to keep himself to stand. He felt even younger than he had all week, like a newborn, and he was going to fall if he didn’t hold himself up, he just felt so small today. But he couldn’t cave it into, because he didn’t think he had any love that he could cave into anymore. The adults hated three things at the moment: the movie, each other, and especially Rami. And Rami knew he was at the top of that list, he just knew he was.

Gwilym hated him and what he was (a fucking freak) Ben was angry at anything (including the fucking freak roaming in his house) and Joe was silent, not speaking to any of them answer when he did it wasn’t nice (A freak didn’t deserve that anyway.) 

“Why are you in here?” Ben asked, agitated obviously at nothing and everything and Rami didn’t blame him, he didn’t blame any of them. It was his fault. His fault his fault hisfault hisfaulthis faulthusfaulthisfaulthis- 

“Sowwy..” he said quietly, stepping out of the bathroom “Jush-.. nofink” he couldn’t speak because he was a freak as baby who really wasnt a baby at all. 

Ben just grumbled and pushed his shoulder harshly, stumbling onto his bum with a little noise of shock and fear. Joe was passing the bathroom as Ben slammed the door and saw Rami on the floor. He sighed and helped him up, then leaving.   
No, are you okay bubs, or, do you need a hand bubs, or, are you fucking okay you piece of shit freak, bubs? 

No, nothing. 

Silence. 

He wanted to scream but knew he couldn’t, that would be rude for such a quiet morning.   
So he stayed silent. 

And learnt a lot more swears in the next week. 

-^*^- 

They liked the word ‘fuck’ recently. It was said a lot, probably more than it needed to be. Rami knew not to use it out-loud, but he still said it in his head quite a bit. Big Rami was allowed, used to say it from time to time, but Big Rami hadn’t been around recently. When acting, It was Little Rami playing a very professional game. A pretend game because his daddies were giving his character more love than they did with real Rami. The game was fun, but breaks weren’t, Rami wanted to ask to keep playing the game, to ask his daddies if they could pretend to have a cuddle pile in the pretend game so Little Rami could have just a bit of love but he never did ask. Little Rami knew his daddies wouldn’t like it, would tell them to ‘fuck off, freak.’ or just say nothing to him.. or push him so hard he falls and grazes his hand again (That hurt Ben..). No, Little Rami never asked for love because he knew he didn’t deserve it.

Break-time did the game was Rami’s second worst time (first being time at home, where the shouting and throwing and screaming and ‘fuck’s are able to be let loose) because it was filled with glares and sneers and no talking from any of the main cast members. Rami once snuck off to find Lucy, who helped get him something to eat and drink as she hadn’t seen him doing it anytime that day.

Lucy played games with Rami, or tried too, all he had wanted to do was hug the blonde and try so desperately not to cry into her shoulder like the baby he wasn’t supposed to be (To quote Gwil without the swears he had screamed).

Lucy was okay with it, but she did get a bit worried when Rami flinched as someone walked past them when Lucy had finally pulled Rami off her shoulder to get him too eat (Rami had become a lot skinnier than he normally was and it worried Lucy). People don’t just flinch when people walk past without reason.

Although, when Rami went practically pale as Gwilym marched up too him and grabbed him by the arm so violently it made Lucy wince, Lucy really worried.

“Why the hell did you run off too?” Gwilym sneered in Rami’s ear, shaking his arm in once violent motion that made said-arm-owner stumble almost off his feet.

“Wif Lucy..” Rami mumbled fearfully, not daring to look up at his daddy-.. Gwilym. Just Gwilym. He didn’t like being called daddy anymore.. but “Sowwy Daddy” it slipped before Rami could stop himself. Fuck.

“Oh for fuck sakes” Gwil growled and pulled Rami violently away from Lucy, who was about to follow but someone started to talk to her and she tried to apologise and say ‘sorry can’t talk right now, my metaphorical nephew is probably in danger with his own metaphorical father’ but couldn’t.

-^*^-

“What have I told you about that word?!” Gwilym pushed Rami into the storage cupboard so hard he fell back and slid slightly on the floor. Gwil towered over him, leaning to get just in front of his face “Your disgusting, you know that? You make us all sick. Your a fucking freak!” Gwil belted, his whole body shaking in anger as he balled his fists like he was about to sock Rami in the jaw so hard he would have to have it wired closed for weeks.

Rami fought back the sob bubbling up in his throat, so preoccupied with that that he didn’t realise he started crying. Big fat tears dripped out his eyes and dropped onto the Freddie costume and floor.

“You! Disgust me!” He pushed Rami by the shoulders, making Rami hit his head on the floor with a small sound. He let out the sob at that, the knowledge that he would have a headache tomorrow was all he could think about as he tried to block out the shouting.

You disgust me

Your a freak

Never call me that again

Someone enters

More shouting

When will it end

Nobody helping Rami

“He’s fine!” Ben yelled in Joe’s face, pointed to Rami on the floor, not moving.

“He’s probably got a concussion because of this prick!” Joe points at Gwilym, who looked at Joe like he had been convicted of murder

“Me? If it weren’t for Ben he wouldn’t’v ran off!” Gwilym points at Ben, who made an annoyed noise in the back of his throat

Rami couldn’t and wouldn’t point at anyone. He was tired and wanted it all to stop. He had nobody to point at too make it stop that was in the storage room at the moment.

The rest of that night went on in a blur of shouting and what Rami probably hallucinated about, someone coming in too stop it. In Rami’s hallucination, the rest of the night went something like this.

“What in the world are you lot shouting about now-“ Allen walked in, his Prenter gear all done up just like the real person the Game-Version-Of-Allen was based on. Rami disliked Allen’s character, because Allen’s character wasn’t little Rami’s own idea. It was the ‘producers’, the gods of his Game, Rami had called them once. Some were alright, other than the producer that was gone but the baby was sure he was called something else- the Director! But back to Allen’s character, Paul Prenter, the snake, the villain, the one who liked to be close to Freddie- Rami’s character- that it could be taken the wrong way.

If Rami has any say in ‘Paul Prenter’ as a character in his Game, he would be nice and funny just like Allen was himself. He would be Freddie’s Sixth hand man, Mary, Brian, Roger, Deaky and Miami being his second, third, fourth and fifth hand men and woman. He wouldn’t be apart of the band but he would help like Miami did, and not saying so many means thing to the others because that just wasn’t nice at all. Speaking of nice, Rami thought it was nice that Allen had saved him- he finally had someone to point too.

“What the fuck- Rami?!” Allen pushed past the three arguing men to get too the boy on the floor, he crouched down in front of him by his head and stroked his cheek. Rami found it very nice to get more affection, as he had gotten some from Lucy already. It was a shame to know that tomorrow he would have to wait longer for affection - it was like a timed bar that meant if you ran out then you would get too have a few cuddles but the more cuddles you have when the affection timer stops, the longer it will take for your next round of affection - but he could wait if it meant to have more now.

“Rami, can you hear me?” Allen asked worriedly. Which was silly because if he could hear Ben, Joe and Gwil yell awful swears at each other then he could hear Allen by his side. But nevertheless he nodded

“Okay good.. oi, one of you go get medical. I’m sure you don’t want the producers or Brian and Roger hearing about this”

To sum up what happened at the end in Rami’s mind, Hallucination Allen had covered for the three boys from everyone who wasn’t in the room. Allen had even told Lucy that Rami was okay and Gwil was doing a prank. Of course she didn’t believe that one bit but knew better than to ask Rami about it, seeing him so close to tears that same day told her not to ask. So she didn’t.

But that was just a hallucination, right?

-^*^-

Lot of things turned into hallucinations to Rami’s head after that. Allen asking him if he was okay during breaks and texting him on days off were definitely hallucinations because the affection timer definitely hadn’t gone off yet. The ability to remover to eat wasn’t a hallucination, it was now foreign. Rami didn’t remember the time he last ate, didn’t think he could. Changes never happened now, Rami had learnt to hold on again until he could use to bathroom, or he just wouldnt drink water for ages and when he did he would take sips. Small sips.

The arguments didn’t stop though, so they weren’t hallucinations. Rami would either hide or not when the others argued. Not hiding meant silently crying, hiding meant sobbing openly. Neither was great.

One time when Rami has listened to the boys argue in the kitchen, he was in the playpen. He had opened it himself, and had tried to shut it to fake the thought that he had been put in it whilst his daddies were busy like they used to do when Rami was a bit older in headspace and could fend for himself for at least 30-40 minutes, but it was hard to do from the inside of the lock as that was its soul purpose.

Rami had closed his eyes, hugged a toy close too his chest and listened intently. His pointy ears being more aware than normal.

“-Fuck you, your the one-!” Fuck. Rami said that word over and over in his head, mounting it and then whispering it, then finally saying

“fuck...” it sounded bad, it sounded wobbly and weird on his tongue but he thought he would get used to it just like the others had, seeming as they had been saying it so many times recently.

“Oh, what a twat, blaming me-“ Twat. That was a weird one, must be English, seeing as it came from Ben

“Just shut up, both you of!” Shut up. That one wasn’t as bad, Rami knew that one. No need to go over that

“-He’s a little bitch though-“ Bitch. That made Rami sob, as he knew that had been directed at him . He slapped a hand over his mouth and looked at the door. They didn’t hear him. Good.

“..b-itch..” Rami said quietly and sobbed again. They still didn’t hear him over their own screams.

-^*^-

Being small has perks to it, Rami found out. He had small hands, so he could do a lot more detail with paintings because smaller brushes fit into his hands better. He had smaller feet so shoes weren’t that expensive for him, he was delicate (he still liked the word) so he fit a lot of different types of clothes,   
he could fit into a lot more places during hide and seek. 

Hide and seek wasn’t fun anymore, not when it involved more screaming than ever, more violence and throwing and adults being adults.

But he was small, so he could fit just between the place behind the bin that they kept in the long cupboard. It wasn’t comfy, but it didn’t smell, because they hadn’t had a proper meal since the bin-men came and they cleared the bin out into the bigger bin that was tipped upwards so it went into that giant machine car thing that came down the street. Yeah, they hadn’t had a together meal in a while. He missed having a family, a nice family. He missed Sami. He missed grandpa Brian and Roger-.. Wait.   
As the sound of the plates hitting the wall (He didn’t care who threw it this time.) he remembered the phone. 

-^*^- 

“Grandpa Brian?” glass-smashing sound of a plate hitting the floor 

“Rami? Darling what- it’s 4 am- whats that noise? Is something wrong?” A flow of swears run through the house like they were on a marathon

“They are attacking each other..” sniffle, a bowl hitting on the floor 

“Who? Who Rami?!” Brian yelling, daddies yelling. 

“...Ben, Joe and G-Gwil..” A whimper. Shouting 

“Why? Are you safe? Where are you? What started it?Darling?” Panicking Brian, non-panicking daddies 

“The- Movie. Can- can you c-call Lucy? Wanna- wanna tal-talk to h-her” Panic. He was going to die. Screaming still from daddies 

“I think it’s best if I come over there, yeah? Can you hide for me, whilst I come get you?” Brian reassuring. Fake? Screaming still.

”Okay.” Rami nodding. Fucking idiot, he can’t see you. Still fucking screaming  
Daddies. Not daddies, Ben,Gwil,Joe. Not daddies.

Rami hangs up, then hides again. Brian will save him. 

-^*^- 

He fell asleep on the car ride to Brian’s house, but Brian didn’t mind. He woke up in a proper bed this time and hoped none of that was a hallucination again. He can’t go through that again, he really can’t.

“Hey baby” Rami looked up at Brian, who was sat next to him with a hand on Rami’s tummy, rubbing in small circles as he smiled sympathetically down at him. So it was a hallucination, all of this is a hallucination. Rami only got comfort during them, and here he was. Rami looked up at Brian and sighed, pushing Brian’s hand off gently and sliding away from him and onto his other side so his back faced Brian. He wanted it all to be over, the falseness, the mocking comfort. It was all to much. Go back to normal please, he thought.

Brian frowned and walked around the bed too the other side so he faced Rami “It’s me, RamRam. Grandpa Brian.. remember when you called last night?” During the last part of the rockstars sentence, his voice wavered like it was going to break. That’s what hallucination Allen’s voice did during the storage room incident.

“Yesh..” He lisped, sitting up and touching Brian’s hair with slow movements. Real. “Your real”

“O-of course I am, Darling.. would you like breakfast?” He grabbed Rami’s hand and held it tightly, but not too tight it hurt like the others did sometimes. Rami nodded frantically before he could stop himself.

-^*^-

Rami scoffed down his food, the thought of ‘this is all real’ as he swallowed his scrambled eggs in record-speed to get to his water, was all he thought of.

Brian hadn’t taken a bite out of his own food. Rami only realised that when he was finished with his own. He stopped dead in his tracks of putting the water down to push his plate away and look down guiltily. How rude of him, how bratty of him.

He ate before Brian said he could.

He was going to apologise when Brian picked up Rami’s plate and put more eggs and toast on the plate, piling it up as much as the plate could fill and giving it back too Rami. Was this punishment?

“You can have all the food you want, okay? You never have to scoff your food down like that again. I promise you” Brian grabbed Rami’s hands in his own and gave kisses too the delicate knuckles.

Oh this was the best hallucination yet.

-^*^- 

He was still in headspace for the next week and a half he stayed at Brian’s. Brian looked over him, Roger came over a few times and he was always fun. When Roger came over, Brian and Roger would talk for a bit whilst Rami would go over his swears in his head as he sat on the carpet surrounded by a bunch of Toys that used to be Brian’s real babies playthings.

Rami had refused to play with the toys, not wanting to taint something from a real babies past. Brian had encouraged him, told him he could play with them whenever he wanted to do so. But when Brian went to grab a train and made it hit a soft mesh brick so lightly there was barely any noise, Rami had pulled it away from Brian’s arms, baby-gurgling fearfully that he ‘was about to break it! Stop it, it’s not ours we can’t! We can’t fucking do that, stop!’. That made Brian go pale, then red with anger, then pale again. Realisation that Rami had heard what the others had been yelling at each other, anger that they had been yelling those words near Rami, realisation that they had to have been saying the word so many times Rami had picked up on it. Rami had just cried and put the train down gently and then run off to hide between the space of a cupboard and a dishwasher in the back room through the door in the kitchen.

It had taken a while for Brian to get Rami to come out of that spot. It also took ages for the bruises, from how Rami was crumpled up in the small spot, too disappear.

But when Roger was round, and Brian and Roger weren’t talking about whatever it was they spoke about, Rami and Roger would play games like tic tac toe, or watch tv together. Roger had tried to get Rami to play with at least a teddy, to just hold it, but Rami never did.

Rami did hear Brian say that he was ‘angry at himself for telling Rami they weren’t new toys’ and then the next day, new toys came with Roger. Roger had said he bought them yesterday, and he had bought loads. Rami didn’t play with 99% of the toys, but the 1% of toys he did play with was the fox teddy because he knew Brian liked foxes and really wanted to say his thanks for letting Rami stay in his home for a bit. Brian called it ‘improvement’ when talking to Roger one day, and the once-blond hard agreed.

-^*^-

Rami had told Brian his favourite word and now he only used it to describe Rami, no one else. That was really nice, he thought. Really really nice. That was probably the best thing about Brian, the fact that he was so nice to rami the past couple of weeks. He didn’t ask him at any time to age up, didn’t push him or yell. He was great.

Rami sat on the soft carpet, surrounded by the toys he dared to touch, and went over his swears. Brian has told him that the words he heard back in the old house were bad ones, but Rami already knew he was a bad boy, so his comment only sparred the boy on. Rami was sick, Gwilym had said so, he had said how calling him daddy was gross and not-normal in the slightest, how twisted and perverted he was for having a younger headspace, how he didn’t want him to call Ben, Joe and Gwilym himself his daddies. That was weeks ago, yet Rami still believed him. He had been at Brian’s for a while now, and Brian and once said to Roger he was making tiny progresses, which probably meant that Rami was slowly becoming more normal and more grown up than his first morning at Brian’s.

Rami remembered the feeling of thinking it wasn’t all real, how he has thought Brian himself wasn’t real that morning, how insane he felt when he saw Brian comforting him. He still did had the weird feeling, the feeling of Brian’s hugs seeming to good to be true, or Rogers hand holding being to nice to be done to Rami, or even when Adam came over that one night and helped Rami ‘clean’ his toy fox in the sink with fake water and soap. Rami liked playing with Adam that day, he was kind and always gave Rami soft smiles, even if the boy refused to give them back because bad little boys don’t get to smile and have fun. The whole time he had been with Adam, he felt like it all had to be a big hallucination and none of the comfort was real. Rami definitely didn’t believe it when Brian had actually come to get Rami from his hiding spot weeks ago, when Brian had made a big (fucking, one of the swears) mistake of hitting the train to the block. Rami still had bruises from the folded up position he had taken to hide between the washer and dryer.

Rami looked down at the same train track, tearing up just by the memory of it all. He wanted to kick it away, to scream and throw it like Ben had thrown those plates. He wanted to run away from all of this and never come back like Joe did weeks on end when things got to me. He wanted to just stop this and go back to being a big, good boy, like Gwilym wanted.

This was sickening, all of this. The fox toy, the train tracks, the building blocks, him. And what was worse, is that he missed Gwilym the most. He missed the man who told him he was disgusting and perverted. He missed Ben and Joe to, but Rami and Gwilym had a connection. They used to be two peas in a pod and now Rami can’t think about him without wanting to tear off his own skin.

Rami didn’t even realise he started to cry when he heard a loud sob come from far to close to his body, the son being his own as he dropped the fox and wiped his eyes vigorously with two little fists. Brian came running in at the sound of crying, having been just down the hall talking on the phone, the door wide open so he could hear Rami if he needed him. And by the sound of the sobbing and wailing, the boy definitely needed him.

Rami also didn’t realise Brian rushing up to him and dropping to the floor, hugging him tightly to his chest and shushing him, kissing him on the head and telling him that he was okay, deep breaths Rami, that’s it, your alright, calm down, I’m here, your not there anymore.

He didn’t realise how Brian wanted to kill the three men that hurt the poor boy so badly. He had loved the other three, but now, the thought of them doing what they did to Rami made him sick to the stomach. He himself wanted to scream and lash out (obviously not at Rami, and with Rami as far away as possible, the boy not needing something like that to happen near him) but he knew Rami had it worse than Brian’s sickly feeling, and he would do anything for the boy to keep him safe.

>>

Rami had been sleeping in the spare room for all this time, the same room he had woken up in in his hallucination (which Rami had to believe was real, because hallucinations never lasted this long)

It was nice, nothing like his old nursery, but not poorly decorated or anything. It wasn’t supposed to be a nursery before Rami came, and Rami was okay with the room, knowing Brian wanted him to age up and not be a dumb stupid-

“Ramster, do you want to decorate your room to look more like a nursery? Would you like that?” But that question through him off. Brian smiled softly over at Rami across the dining table, eating breakfast together in silence (apart from Brians occasional comment to Rami, who would either nod, shake his head or not respond at all to his questions) until he had put up the proposal.

Rami was eating his corn flakes, and Brian his oatmeal. Brian had let Rami try a bit once, but that only ended up on Rami puking it back up and apologising frantically as he sobbed. Brian had cleaned him up quickly, comforted him then cleaned the rest up, once again, as quickly as possible so he could get back to Rami. Rami couldn’t look at it the rest of the week, but this week he didn’t mind the look or smell of it anymore, but he refused to eat it.

Breaking out of his thoughts, Rami looked up at Brian shyly, looking extra small as always in the mornings because of how tired he seemed. Although Rami always looked tired, in the mornings he was just that extra bit sleepy. He nodded nonetheless though, to deep in his head to hear Brian’s encouragement and see him smile.

So maybe Brian didn’t want Rami to grow up into a bigger headspace, because why else would he propose the option to change his room to look like a babies room?

>>

Painting was fun, he found. They had put an old blanket on the floor once they had cleared everything out of the room (With the help of Roger and Adam, who had come over soon after Breakfast to come help) and they were now starting to paint the walls. Brian and Roger painted around the edges first with the baby blue colour, the colour Rami had chosen (It was the same colour as his old nursery, but he was sure Gwilym probably was getting that destroyed with how much he hated him now) and now they were all using the rollers on the walls. You had to push hard on the rollers, something Rami couldn’t do without the help of Brian, but either way it was fun. Each of them got paint on themselves, but they had laughed about it and Rami wasn’t told off for making a mess.

When the first coat was done, they went out into the garden, Adam and Rami playing tic tac toe whilst Roger and Brian spoke. Rami was having fun, the joy of being around people that cared was amazing and felt new still. He had hope.

He shouldn’t have hope. He knew he shouldn’t, he knew soon enough Brian would kick him out too, and Rami wouldn’t know where to go, but he couldn’t help being happy. As Adam and himself slapped hands together as Adam sung the song in different voices each time, he couldn’t help a small smile curl at his lips.

“Oh, I see a smile” Adam grinned playfully, tickling the boy on the tummy gently to get him to smile more, and he did. He even gave a tiny throaty giggle as he fended his tummy from the attack. Adam smile doubles ten-fold, having not heard the boy laugh in ages, and he was so very happy to be the one to get him to smile again, even if he kind of cheated with the wriggling fingers but that didn’t matter, the boy smiled and that was all that mattered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I rlly wanted to continue this one and so HERE THIS CHAPTER IS 
> 
> Warnings for angst, hospitals, IV/Drips, bandages, self harm, hurt/kinda no comfort 
> 
> Enjoy! or don’t-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE HEAD THE WARNINGS

It had been a month with Rami staying at Brian’s home, the little boy having made small progress, coming out of headspace a few times, Brian explaining what had happened to him and the boys (And keeping him pinned back as she screamed about how he was going to go and sort everything out so everything could go okay again, because fuck it, Rami missed them. Why do we miss the ones we love?), but Rami chose to stay little during most of it all, being the quiet, shy little boy Brian was used to now

Rami was slowly starting to play with more toys, although never in front of Brian. He only played with the toy train and the plush polar bear when he thought Brian wasn’t looking. He didn’t even glance at the other toys, but progress was progress and Brian was taking it. Rami was smiling more each week, even once giggling at Brian’s crappy joke, both of them looking at each other in shock when they heard him. Rami got bashful about it for a while after, but started full on laughing when Adam was pretending to be a giant monster with a towel over his head when he came to visit

Adam and Rami were as close as brothers now, Rami always running to Adam when he came through the front door on the Wednesdays he came over with Roger, Adam always bringing gifts for the little boy that he would barely touch, because they were valuable and weirdos like him don’t deserve things like that 

Everything was slowly going well, but then Brian got a call. 

Rami was cuddling with Adam in the living room, watching cartoons whilst Roger and Brian spoke privately in the kitchen about everything going on, when his phone sat next to him on the table started to buzz 

“Wait hold on” Brian said as he picked his phone up, quickly putting his glasses on to read the Caller Id. That was when it all went wrong. He saw who it was, let out a gasp and looked up at Roger “Its Gwilym...” 

Roger saw red, snatching the phone quickly out of Brian’s hand before the older one could complain about it, pressing accept and standing up as he started to explode “What the fuck do you think your doing, just calling like nothing has happened? What? You wanted to apologise? Wanted to apologise for putting that little boy through hell and back every day?!” 

Brian didn’t even see or hear Rami sneakily coming to stand by the kitchen doorway, watching with big blue-green eyes as Roger yelled and the phone close to his face, Brian standing also to try and calm his shorter friend down at least a tiny bit

“Roger I-“ Gwilym started from the other side of the dial, only to get interrupted by a very angry drummer 

“No. I’m not done.” Roger practically growled, all three of the adults in the house realising Rami wasn’t where they thought he was “You tortured that boy. Every single damn day. He heard all of your arguments, y’know, was saying those swears you were yelling about in front of him, he was scared shitless on the phone when we first got him. All because of you three. You don’t get to apologise after you put that boy through so much! He won’t even play with toys! He thinks he’s worth nothing, not even a few toys or food or even a bedroom, because of you three! Y’know, when I first saw him, he was so fucking skinny I could see his fucking spin, Gwilym. You could wrap your hand around his waist, how sick is that?! But I bet you didn’t know, because you three didn’t care! So no, you don’t get to apologise, not after what you all did to him!” Roger ended with a venomous spit, hanging up quickly and practically throwing the phone onto the table, resting his hands on it as he took in deep breaths, trying to calm himself as Brian rubbed his back gently 

Rami stayed silent as Brian looked up and finally took in the boy, Roger looking up as he heard Brian’s short cut gasp 

“Rami-“ Brian started, reaching towards him a little bit too quickly, because Rami went running off, straight past the living room and up the stairs, catching the attention of Adam as he watched s figure run past the room he was in, then realise it was Rami as he started to run after the little boy, Brian and Roger just behind him 

There was the sound of the bathroom door slamming as locking as Adam just got to it, trying to open the door as he started to hear the broken sobs coming from behind the door 

“Rami! Baby it’s me, Adam, c’mon, open the door” Adam yelled, trying to be heard over Rami’s sobbing and wailing, the sounds of bottles and what-not falling to the floor in loud clutter. Adam turned to Brian desperately “Do you have a key?” He said as he started to try to open the door, but was having no such luck 

“I.. I think..” Brian looked down the hall then back at Roger and Adam “Keep an eye on him, please” He begged, both Adam and Roger nodding before Brian took off to find the key, the two turning back to the door 

“Rami, it’s Roger, can you open the door for us? We can talk about the call-“ Roger said gently, only to be cut off by Rami 

“NO! I don’t wanna talk about them! You can’t take me back to them, please” Rami sobbed out, the sound of more things being kicked around, probably by Rami’s legs. Rami could get all flaily when he had breakdowns like this one, accidentally kicking Adam in the gut once, the little boy having felt so bad about it after that he almost went into another breakdown just like the last, which had been about Rami dropping his cup and it spilling. It was sickening to think that the boy got so upset over tiny things... because he had been punished for tiny things such like that

“We would never take you back there!” Adam yelled, banging on the door as he kept trying to open it, willing it to unlock “Never ever are you going back to them. We won’t let them take you, you know that! We are here to keep you safe from them!” Adam had loved all of the boys before, Ben and him getting into nickname battles for everyone, him and Gwilym bonding over Brian being the dad he was so good at being to them, him and Joe getting into playful banter all the time, and Rami had been his ‘favourite’ Bohrhap boy after filming that scene together, the two giggling about it afterwards for hours on end, and when he had first met little Rami he had just adored him 

But now, that relationship with the other three was the exact opposite. He despised them all

Rami didn’t respond, he just kept sobbing as he kicked and flailed, the sound of his hand hitting the sink being heard, along with a crack and a scream, thankfully Brian got the key just seconds after, Adam unlocking it quickly to find Rami clutched his injured, quickly swelling purple, hand to his chest, screaming out in pain and agony from the read pain and the mental pain

Brian feared their progress would be gone as he heard Roger call an ambulance whilst Adam rushed to take the youngest into his arms and gently rock him, trying his best to calm him down 

>>

“Uhm, family of Mr. Malek?” Rami’s doctor called out from the hallway. Brian, Roger and Adam had been in the waiting room for hours now, not being allowed to go in to keep Rami calm whilst they inspected his hand. Both Roger and Adam had pitched a rather big fit about it, but Brian was just so exhausted from it all that he couldn’t, only sink into the waiting rooms uncomfortable chair as he kept an eye on the hallways doors where Rami had been rushed off to on a bed. God the look in the boys eyes as he desperately tried to reach for any of the three was going to be burned into the guitarists eyes forever 

They all stood up at the call of Rami’s name, Adam a lot quicker than the two though, his eyes set with determination 

“That’s us” Roger said as they rushed towards the doctor “Is he alright? Was it broken?” 

“Why don’t you all come to my office” The Dr smiled, her name tag claiming her name was Dr. Maya Sharp 

They walked down the hallway, trying to keep a lowish profile from the people around them, not needing press to start asking questions why Queen and Adam Lambert were at a hospital when they should be helping filming a movie 

They got to the office quick enough, the three entering and sitting down on the more comfortable seats than the waiting rooms ones 

“So, Mr. M-“ 

“Just call him Rami.. please” Adam suggested, because Mr. Malek wasn’t their boy 

“Alright then, Rami has broken most of his knuckles, quite badly if I might say, and we will be prescribing him some medicine to help with the swelling, and he is now being fitted for a split to wear along with a sling if the pain gets to much. He did have a few cuts from where he punched the.. sorry, what was it that he punched?” The Dr. asked kindly 

“Uhm...” Brian didn’t know whether to admit that Rami had literally punched a sink so hard it broke his hand, or lie and say something about a fight 

“Hard surface” Roger said indefinitely, Adam smiling slightly as the Dr took it as it was and typed something in, leaving it at that. Thank god 

“Alright then, anyways, we did have to stitch the cuts on his hands, but the stitches themselves with dissolve on their own, it’s just the knuckles we are worried about for now” 

“When will we get the medicine?” Brian asked, watching as the Dr pulled a piece of paper out of her draw and grabbing a pen 

“Just over the counter in the pharmacy” She smiled as he wrote something down, doubling checking her monitor before passing the paper too the three “Just tell them I gave you that and you will be good” 

“Okay, thank you so much” They all said their thanks and shook the Dr’s hand and then left, getting the all clear to go and see Rami in his room, 171 

They made it too his room, and Adam was the first to enter, slowly and carefully as Rami still looked as if he was dubbed up on the drugs they probably had to give him to calm him down 

“Hiya baby” Adam said gently as he entered the room, Rami lifting his hands up for him as he came closer, showing the boys soft white bandages over his right hand and the drip stuck in his left, meaning he hand two bandaged hands reaching over for Adam. It broke each of their hearts to see, really. Rami made a soft whining noise on the back of his throat as he trie his best to get Adam closer, the singer taking the tiny boy into his arms to hug him tightly to his chest 

“You were so brave! And look at your hands now, you look like Freddie when he was doing boxing” Adam teased gently and Roger and Brian entered and sat on the chairs by Rami’s hospital bed “Very cool” He booped Rami on the nose, at least trying to get a small smile out of the boy, but he just scrunched his nose up and try his hardest to grip the singers shirt with his bandaged hands, barely even pinching the shirt with his immobile hands

It was a sad sight, and Brian couldn’t help the tear form escaping

Then, the door was flung open, revealing Gwilym, Ben and Joe, all three of them rushing in 

“Rami! We- we are so sorry the hospital called us and explained you were here and-“ Gwilym said, Ben and Joe all trying to talk over each other as Rami sat in fear and shock as they quickly came towards them. Both Roger and Brian stood up quick, Adam standing in between the three adults and the little boy, who was still in shock, too scared to move away from them “Adam, Adam get out of the way” Gwilym said as he tried to look around the singer, who just pushed the taller man back slightly 

“Get out” Adam glared, his teeth baring in warning. Gwilym gave him a look, going to open his mouth again but Adam stopped him “No, Gwil, out, he really doesn’t want to see you” 

“But we-“ Ben started from behind them, trying to step around the three to grab at Rami, But before Adam could push him back, Rami let out a blood curling scream, breaking out of that frozen state and trying to get as far away from them as possible with his bandaged hands. 

He shuffled backwards quickly on his hands, the drip stuck in his left hand visibly pulling uncomfortably, but that didn’t stop Rami from trying to get away, his legs kicking frantically as he curled up into the pillows, his blankets going everywhere in a heap as he tried his best to hide. Brian rushed to the boys side, trying to calm him down as Roger and Adam yelled at the boys, who just yelled back, trying their best to get to Rami 

“Rami! Adam let me see him! We want to see him- Rami! It’s us! We want to talk, please baby, just talk!” Joe yelled, trying his best to lock eyes with Rami as his head was being cradled to Brian’s chest, the elder rocking them both gently as he held the boy close, squeezing him to ground him 

“No! Get the fuck out or we will call security! He doesn’t want you here!” Roger yelled, trying to back the three up to get them out of them room, thankfully, either having heard the yelling or Brian had pressed the ‘call nurse’ button, a nurse came rushing in, seeing the commotion and yelling for security 

“What’s going on here?!” The women yelled, silencing all of them except Rami’s screams of terror, her eyes drawing to him first, going to her patient and helping Brian calm him down, fiddling with the drip bag until Rami slowly started to pass out, still giving little whimpers as he slowly went under, Gwilym, Joe and Ben trying to help coo the boy to rest, yet it only worked him up again, so they shut up and let Brian mumble to the boy until he was out cold

The nurse turned to the other adults with a pointed glare at each of them “What the hell has happened here?”

“We wanted-“ 

“Well we-“ 

“They shouldn’t-“ 

“They just-“ 

“Okay! One at a time, please!” The nurse yelled to silence all of them once again “You,” She pointed to Adam “Tall me what happened”

“Rami doesn’t went these people here and they burst through the door and they scared him so bad he was screaming and- and..” Adam shuddered and shook his head, his mouth going dry as he saw Rami laying in Brian’s arms still, completely out and dead to the world as his chest rose and fell 

“Bullshit, he didn’t say he didn’t want us here-“ Ben cut in, only for Roger to interrupt

“I think him screaming at you when you went for him explains that” Roger glared, making Ben step back slightly. An angry Roger wasn’t one to be reckoned with. The adrenaline of what happened making the three slowly start to calm, that calming being replaced with dread pretty soon 

Security came in at that point, the nurse explaining that Gwilym, Ben and Joe needed to leave. Which they did, with a look of dread and horror on their faces as they realised what they had done 

>>

Rami clamped hands over his ears as the sounds of his daddies arguing went muffled, bringing his knees up to his chair and resting his chin on it. Around him, Ben, Gwilym and Joe were yelling, shouting as loud as they could at each other. Ben was gripping his fork so tight his knuckles went white. Gwilym was yelling so loud the hurt his throat would endure the next day was bound. And Joe was spitting his words out as if they were cutting 

Rami wanted to scream. But he couldn’t. He didn’t dare make them even angrier. He had just wanted a normal meal for once, but one thing set off Gwilym and then another and now they were here. All of them arguing, yelling, fighting. It was hell 

Then, it was like something broke, and Ben waved his hand around, his fork stabbing straight into the younger boys hand, then he let out a scream 

The scar was now covered by the white bandages wrapped around his hands 

>>

“Rami, do you want milk or apple juice with your pancakes?” Adam asked as he looked over his shoulder to see the boy. Adam had stayed at Brian’s for the night the first day back from the hospital, and had decided to make some pancakes to lighten everyone’s moods. The whole day yesterday, Rami had been silent, looking down at his bandaged hand with glassy eyes, not moving from his place on the sofa as Adam held him close and Brian rubbed his back gently. They had to pick Rami up everywhere the boy needed to get too, Adam being the one to lift him up to bed when he finally passed out in a curled up position with his good hand wrapped around his neck protectively. How many nights had Rami slept like that before? 

Today wasn’t any better, Adam coming into Rami’s room to find him starring up at the ceiling, looking dead to the world. And even now, Rami wasn’t responding, just starring out in front of him, Adams question going over non-hearing ears 

The singer sighed and just went with milk, hoping that it would somehow help Rami’s knuckles fix themselves faster. He poured the milk into the boys sippy and set it and the plate down in front of the boy, making sure to give him the plastic, toddler cutlery just in case 

Rami didn’t even reach for the cutlery, just kept starring right ahead at his food laid out for him. Adam felt sick to his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s that- 
> 
> Tell me what u thought in the comments, pls 
> 
> I apologise for the one tbh I think it’s the saddest in this ‘series’

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been a vent for me, and I felt it needed its own work to itself. I have not been through this personally, only something like this, but not as violent and scary. If u are in this sort of situation please seek help from someone you know or a line that you can call.
> 
> Stay safe everyone


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